This sort of ties in with yesterday's post about regrets, though I think that this topic is a bit more tangible. Of all the things that I miss I feel that I would most miss the people that I have lost over the years. That answer, while probably a bit too simple, is also the most honest one that I can come up with at this point in time. I may have written before, I am not entirely sure, that for the most part I see myself as the oldest male in my family, and society tells me that position comes with a ton of pressure and responsibility. Even if I had one of the primary people I have lost over the years back that would remove the constant feelings of inadequacy that contemplating this topic has filled me with each time I have pondered it. But obviously that is not why I would have picked this, because at some point we all have to handle pressure.
No, what I most miss are the memories that I have missed out on, the trips that would have been taken, the major events and how they would have been different. I wonder how I would have been different. How would I have formed, how would I think, would these words even be typed right now? Would I be in college? Would I be in New Jersey? The questions all swirl, they fester, they eat away. And yeah, I just miss having a father figure, someone to whom I can always confide in, someone with the experience to point me in the right direction when I fall off the path. Even someone to joke around with, to talk sports with, to bond. I don't think I'd be able to pick just one person to have back, there are advantages to all of them, so I am not going to force myself to limit it to one person. I know some people look back and say they don't miss anything, I am not one of those people.
Thanks for reading.
Tomorrow's Topic: First Love
Rich
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