Day 1 - Introduction, Photo, and 15 Fascinating Facts

Introductions, some say, are the most important impression that you can make on a person. After about twenty seconds, perhaps less, minds are already made up, a person knows how they feel about you, whether you are going to be friends, if they'll remember who you are, even if you are going to see him or her naked. Statistics are dumb, and so are introductions. I am probably judgmental, but I like to think that I do not make such judgments as such a rapid pace.

As for my introduction I suppose that I can say my name is Rich Thorne, and I could say that I have lived in the state of New Jersey for the entirety of my life. In fact, I've lived on the same plot of land the entirety of my life. I'm not sure if I should be proud of that fact or not. I go to college in New Jersey as well, at The College of New Jersey. And I'm a senior, though I might be around this area for another year or so finishing up some Masters in English work. I'm 21 years of age. Here is a photograph (not really, photographs don't really exist anymore) of me taken a few minutes earlier:


Part of this entry is meant to be dedicated to fifteen interesting, or perhaps fascinating, facts about me. I am glad this is attached to this introductory post because I think whoever is reading this, whether you be a close friend, a family member, a stranger, an acquaintance, or in some middle ground I can mostly assure that you will find at least one - most likely more - detail that you did not know. If that is of value to you I cannot very well say, but if you have made it this far in what is very likely to be one of the longer posts of this process I would guess we have a mutual interest in the subject. Voyeurism, vanity, morbid curiosity, interest, they all exist on the same plane. The same Aeroplane...over the Sea. Neutral Milk Hotel reference! Love it!

1. I am an addict

Not in any traditional sense, or no more than any other person probably. I think I am addicted to culture, which is good because the concept is so abstract and undefinable it makes partaking in this addiction as easy as breathing. Films, games, literature, music, art. Lily Allen says in "The Fear" that "I am a weapon of massive consumption, and it's not my fault that's how I'm programmed to function." While the context is not nearly the same I find myself drawn back tot his line almost every day. Such beauty, such simplicity, so American.

2. I have a vice

An animation vice to be exact. I cannot think of a more enjoyable art form. Well, I suppose video games, but those are all animated in some variety as well. On the surface I don't think that this fact is all that startling, or interesting, but despite my love for animation in general I think my affinity for anime is mostly concealed. For some reason this seems to operate in a realm outside that of American animation, it's mocked and ridiculed, something I need to keep hidden, to be ashamed of, but when it comes down to it Satoshi Kon was one of the many great modern artists. Death Note is, at least early on, story telling at its finest. Hell, even Miyazaki has his place.

3. I've hit the bottom

Thrice in the past two months or so, in fact. Initially I spiraled in to a pit of near depression, or probably full on if I am honest, and in many ways I do not think I have escaped that sinkhole. I've thought about this before and I probably am depressed, to some extent, but that's part of what makes me me, I think, and there's comfort to be found there. The second time was likely a result of the first, of disillusion. It ended with me being hospitalized. I don't think I'd care to be in a hospital for a long while, maybe. The third time was just a culmination of everything, it still lingers. But slowly everything has picked up, a bit at a time, I'll end up back where I was, I'm sure, but hopefully not so often.

4. My previous career stint

At one point a few years ago I had the notion that anyone could make music. I still retain this belief to an extent, though I have mostly resigned myself to the fact that I am destined to exist in the middle ground. I also really, really, really liked the idea of how MF DOOM plays with the idea of persona in hip-hop, his awareness of the fronts that rappers put on and skewing the perspective of the listener. So why not rap? In hindsight I probably did not make the best partner choice I could have, though there was plenty of talent on both sides, it's just a matter of visions not really meshing. I think we only recorded four songs (here), and the high school me was not quite the writer I currently am, but I can't help but look back lovingly on this endeavor. Was it misguided? Probably. Was it successful? Not in the least. I took the easy way out when writing parts of those songs, but maybe it wasn't all so misguided. I think I'd like to try rapping again.

5. I'm seeing double

Feeling is likely the better word. Or told to feel maybe. I have been told that I am double jointed in my arms because I can turn them around on tables and fold downward. I still think I just have a system and everyone can do it though. I tend to do this when I sit places with desks for long periods of time. For some reason putting my body in awkward positions is calming.

6. Finding my inner child

I think there existed a time where I was more (less?) jaded than I currently am, taking on a dismiss first attitude to most low culture. This was stupid. I could probably watch Disney Channel all day, every day. Nickelodeon too, I guess, though less so. Disney doesn't have commercials, it just has plugs for more Disney Channel shows. It's TV at its finest. I wrote on my older Processed Grass about the declining state of quality on the channel and that upsets me, but as long as I can get re-runs of Wizards, Suite Life, and Sonny I'll keep watching.

7. Collections

I think I have tried to collect many things over the years. Currently I am collecting vinyl records, maybe other things too, but vinyls are the big ticket items it would seem. In the past I have collected cards, shot glasses, DVDs, and other things. The oddest thing I probably collected were plastic bags. Then Ramin Bahrani made a film about plastic bags, and that was beautiful.

8. Recitation

Poetry has been a pretty large part of my life. It's the reason, I think, that I am an English major. When I was younger I had an Encyclopedia Brittanica CD-ROM for the computer. On that CD were a ton of articles which a young me devoured as if a hound starved. My favorite article was, easily, a reading of Edgar Allan Poe's "The Raven." Towards the end of 1st grade I could basically recite the entirety of the opening parts of the poem. Once I started second grade the next year I could recite the entire poem. I can no longer do that, but Poe remains one of my favorite poets, and I continue to love "The Raven," but as I learn more I occasionally run in to times when we talk about Poe in classes. Not his poems, which is good, but I am afraid that one day we will and I'll find out there is nothing there, and it's a feeling I don't want to lose. It's a pretty heavy connection to my childhood, one of the few I still value. But current me also knows we need to lose these things to keep growing, and one day I fear it's going to be lost, and my childhood with it.

9. Water

No more peace can be found than that of the water. Baths, showers, oceans, lakes (not so much these because I stupidly went swimming with a snapper turtle in my youth), ponds, pools. I love water, it's soothing and calming. There are a couple of times where I think that I nearly drowned, once when I was around this age and once when I was much younger. Those memories are vivid, and that scares me, but I still love the water. I also do not know how to dive despite having a pool at my house my entire life. Additionally, I imagine it would be one of the most fantastic things in the world to meet someone named River.

10. General house keeping

I am the oldest of two children, which means I have one younger sibling, a brother. I also have two parents, though my dad passed away when I was still in elementary school. I'll get in to all of this in the future posts about siblings, family, and parents.

11. Eclectic and Hipsterdom

This word is not very descriptive, but I also think it is one of the best ways to describe myself. Calling back to my cultural obsession I am willing to mostly consume just about anything, as such I have developed a variety of different tastes and tolerances. I've mentioned ties to hip hop, Disney pop, and Brit pop, but that barely scratches the surface. Alternative, indie, underground hip hop, surf rock, progressive, metal, synth pop, dubstep (I don't much know about this because I'm still not sure what James Blake is), and Pitchfork is telling me I need to find out whatever bedroom pop is. Additionally, I think if I had more hair, a better fashion sense, and much less self seriousness I would be a hipster. Additionally, that's a stupid label. But yeah, as of now I like to think I'm just post-ironic, or perhaps post-post-ironic.

12. Where am I?

I am not all that great with directions, my sense of direction is, somewhat comedic and partially ironically, lacking. When I was younger I got in Disney World, which was pretty scary. I've also been lost in Trenton and Philadelphia. And driving home from Philadelphia. And probably other places as well. My brain doesn't work that way, I guess.

13. Lone star

I've never been to Texas, but I have a love for just about anything from Houston, specifically the sports teams. Football is probably my favorite sport and the Texans are easily my favorite franchise out of any sport. While I'm not a huge Astros fan (Go Red Sox!), I can support them, along with the Rockets. It's all about the Texans though, I am probably an unofficial Houston Texans Historian. Each Sunday during the season I spend a few hours watching the arrows on the NFL Gameday or Yahoo app go back and forth, imagining how great it would be to watch the Texans play for real.

14. Communication if confusing

Socially I am not the most developed person, though I try to work on this on a daily basis, and this pretty much frightens me. I don't do well reading non-verbal cues, I tend not to voice my opinions all that well, and sometimes I just feel as if I don't understand people. It shows, I think, and I get worried and anxious most of the time. There are defense mechanisms I have developed to deal with this, but these tend to cause more problems.

15. Concealment

This goes along with number 14 pretty well. I tend not to show it too well when I enjoy myself, and I think sometimes I convince myself that most things are not enjoyable, but that rarely turns out to be the case. I have a theory that the world is filled mostly with what should be labeled as pessimists, but are called optimists. These people have an overabundance of pessimism, which causes low expectations that are always exceeded, so they always appear happy. Then there are people who, like me, are filled with optimism and are usually let down, which is misconstrued as pessimism. That's a pretty pessimistic view though, I suppose. The world is a funny place.

So until tomorrow, thanks for reading and if you feel so inclined I would love to hear what you think is the most interesting fact below. Something you learned or did not know. That brings a smile to my face, or something similar anyway.

Rich