This entry will be a bit too tough because I think that I have learned a lot, not a day goes by when I don't, in some capacity, learn something. I think that the best way to handle this is to simply limit myself to the most important thing that I learned during this exercise. At least so far, there is still plenty of reflection and learning left to accomplish in the final few days, as the candles extinguish, as it all unravels. Still, even if I limit it to that I think that I have a good deal of narrowing down that I need to do as I attempt to discover the most important.
Actually, maybe it won't be all that difficult.
I think, at least I hope, what I learned is that I need to work hard, perhaps the hardest I have ever worked, in order to be honest with myself. It is easier said than done, but that's because my conception of identity is at odds with the idea of acceptance. I am too aware, hyper aware. Honesty is said to be the best policy, and a sense of self is probably most important when speaking about honesty. I actually just read an article today about feminist criticism in Turn of the Screw where it had a section that spoke about how we look in mirrors, that they constantly distort what we see, but we also recognize this as 'us.' However, the distortion means that we can never see what we really look like, so in order to know us we have to accept that everything we have seen of us is not us. So maybe I will never know who I am, but in the mean time I learned that I need to be honest, and that starts now. The train, she rolls uphill.
Thanks for reading.
Tomorrow's Topic: Shuffle
Rich
No comments:
Post a Comment